Thursday, January 28, 2010

Elmo


Language is tough. Especially when you're almost two and you want your Elmo doll, but your mother mistakenly tries to put you in an Elmo diaper, brush your teeth with an Elmo toothbrush, or put Elmo panties on you. Because, let's face it, "I want Elmo!" could mean all those things.

"No" is another one of those tricky little phrases. It can mean No way jose! Over my dead body! Or it can be a verbal tic common to toddlers the world over. Knowing which one can only be discerned by risking a tantrum.

Other endearing little vocabulary lapses include the classing of all bodily fluids under the past particilple pooped. For example, instead of saying, "Mommy I have to piss like a race horse!" My daughter will say, much more charmingly, "I pooped," which means she has to pee and or poop, or she just wants to sit on the toilet and look at an Elmo book. When she is noticeably upset and she says, "I pooped," it generally means she has gone in her pants. The latter definition is becoming archaic thank God!

Dahlia also, quite logically, classifies all substances placed into her mouth as "eat.' "I want to eat" may mean that she is ravenously hungry or that she is dry as Texas in August. So I offer her something to eat or drink each time. And sometimes, the wrong answer gets thrown clear across the room. So watch out for that sippy cup!