Facebook status for this afternoon: Meiera Holz Stern snuck into her house with all the stealth of a cat burglar, just to take a nap, so the kids wouldn't tackle her from all diections with their loud needs.
I called the au pair to tell her my plans so she wouldn't call the cops on me. Then I staked out the house from the safety of my black Camry parked on a side street at an oblique angle from the house. A man with a cigarette, who looked like a house painter--he was spackled with paint-- came out and gave me a suspicious once over. I looked down at my iPhone and counted the minutes until I knew the minivan would pull out of the driveway with the kids.
Once I saw Yenny and the morsels leave for Karate I parked the car on the said side street so they wouldn't deduce that I was at home, climbed a low fence and walked over two yards to my own. Despite the innocence of my motive, I couldn't help but feel a bit tainted by my desperation for a quiet afternoon.
When I woke up, the house was still quiet. I had 5 minutes to use the bathroom and get myself a snack before the wee beasties returned. If they knew I was home there'd be no peace. So I hurried and made it back upstairs leaving nary a trace of my presence. I spent the last hour and half before I had to relieve the au pair munching crackers and hummus and reading about Amazonian shamans and healing plants. It was a guilty treat, and one made even more delicious by the fact that it was'nt foiled. When I came downstairs the boys assumed I'd just come home from work.
I definitely won't do this often, but I felt a bit like Ferris in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
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